embodied // love

Waning Gibbous Moon in Pisces

Back in my body

Unbound;

divine shines through

My temple is sacred and filled with pleasures

Not the shame you told me I had to wear

Source of divine power

Life force flows

Sacral wisdom houses every lesson

Soul reclamation

Already within your reach

Turn around.

Come home.

***

Reflecting today on being in the body; being embodied in love. Sometimes it amazes me to witness how much wisdom is already within us, is always with us, whether we tap into it or not. And how quickly so many shifts can occur, when we have safe spaces to reflect curiously within our very being [instead of with judgement and condemnation].

The thing about a love that reaches down to you very depths and steals the breath from your lungs in the most glorious of ways, is that you can never forget it; once you’ve been in proximity to it. Tapping into divine; truth. Once you’ve felt that which is everything in a moment, you can’t just show up for anything any longer. The contrast is too glaring. And that love assigned outward onto some other— that you are recognizing in them— is really just the reflection of your love. The divine energy that is already and always has been within you. Sometimes it takes the glare of a light so penetrating— that love emanating from another reflected back at you— to see how truly magnificent you already are. And that’s the power of Love. It cracks through the toughest exteriors and exposes the truth that we know [in our soul] but have forgotten.

We have everything within us already to be whole, thriving beings. It is the journey of a lifetime to excavate that which gets buried by life. A heroic journey at that. The power we possess, frankly can be terrifying to begin to unlock and learn how to sit with, because it’s so real, so visceral at times, that it’s hard to imagine being able to harness all of that juice. There is a fear, that we will be consumed by it; that we will do harm with all that power. And often times we need a reflection separate from us, a mirror of that power in action from a place of the highest good, which is always from Love, in order to feel safe enough, trusting enough to begin dipping our toe into the shallow end of our own being. To journey toward acceptance and reverence.

We have to start outside of self sometimes, to gather the courage to go inward. And that’s ok, but I just want to remind you today, that the love, the brilliance, the beauty, that you so easily can spot outside of you, is and always has been a reflection of that which you recognize within. You have everything within to be the all you were designed to be.

You are that love.

***

Soul crying out in the spaces the body has kept score

to be seen and held is the heart’s deepest desire; bear witness

Just be; curious.

There is nothing to figure out.

All will be revealed in due time

Learning the language of acceptance; trust

Holding space for the unloveable

Making love to the not-beautiful

Deep embrace and reverence for the unfolding

attachments to an identify

created in rejection of humanity

projections of fear perpetuated by a man-made world

this is what binds us

separated from the true

liberation for reconciliation

Death to the dialogue of our inherent sin

Freedom from the illusion that we were ever separate.

//

Day 17/28: I want to close out today by giving a shoutout to my brave and beautiful clients that are my accountability and constant contacts with grace; that trust me with their truth, that give me the great honor of bearing witness to their becoming. To be in the presence of that sort of love and courage so often, is a gift. I am constantly learning from each of you, and being reminded of the beauty in authentic humanity. I come home more to myself, every time you step into my space. Thank you for being a part of my journey in this life.

With gratitude and always LOVE,

what really {matters}

Waning Gibbous in Pisces

Day 16/28: “And at the end of my brief splash in the ocean of infinity, if I have loved fully and deeply; shared that energy— the love and connection that is all I am— with the world; if I allowed myself to be loved deeply and fully in return, then that would be enough. I don’t need anyone to remember my name, I don’t need to be accomplished in anything other than having allowed myself to feel the connection to source— and all that’s in its reflection— intensely, within the container of love.”

Those words came through me about a year ago, after a particularly “in outer space” kind of flow writing session. One of my favorite kinds that I can’t type quickly enough to capture whatever was moving through me as I just unleashed without thinking. It was one of those divine moments where I know I wasn’t “doing” I was just pouring out. And what came out was bizarre and esoteric and silly and layered. It was a weaving— sort of what i’ve been attempting during this challenge these past few weeks in taking the different themes and signs that were in my present consciousness and twisting them together into a little story, an experience of a waking dream within a dream sequence…

Anyway, as I sit here in this moment, exhausted after barely sleeping last night and willing myself to just quickly get today’s post done, I was reflecting on the gratitude I am feeling in this moment. A few hours ago a friend sent me a heartfelt message affirming the value of my presence in his life and for who I am as a person. And as it stabbed me [in the best kind of way] right in the heart, I was stopped in my tracks, as I am from time to time and reminded of what really matters [this feels like one of those grace moments]. His message was in response to the incessant insanity of what has been happening in our world, and in an urgency of, “we just don’t know what tomorrow will bring”, he took the time to let me know my presence mattered to him. Nothing like collective tragedy to bring us back down to earth, here and now.

And it got me thinking, in this time, now August of 2020 which undoubtedly will go down as the wildest year of many of our lifetimes—as the world is coming apart at the seams, and as so many things we believed to be absolutes, begin to crumble—there is an opportunity to reflect on what matters. If this moment is all that we have, how are you spending it? How present are you to all that is available to you? How aware are you of the abundance all around and within you?

If it were to all end tomorrow, and you had a moment to reflect on how you chose to be in this life— would you be able to say you truly lived— like heart on overflow kind of vibes— or would you pass on feeling like there was more that it could have been?

This was the thought process I went through just a few minutes ago— as I allowed the gratitude for this special person in my life and the gift he gave me in affirming my presence pour into me— that brought to mind the closing lines I wrote in that flow a year ago, that essentially sums it all up for me:

“And at the end of my brief splash in the ocean of infinity, if I have loved fully and deeply; shared that energy — the love and connection that is all I am— with the world; if I allowed myself to be loved deeply and fully in return, then that would be enough. I don’t need anyone to remember my name, I don’t need to be accomplished in anything other than having allowed myself to feel the connection to source— and all that’s in its reflection— intensely, within the container of love.”

Love and connection. Deep, nourishing relationships built on truth and a witnessing of the authentic reflection of other. Pulling back the layers of what it means to be human and divine— whole; pushing the boundaries of what is known and leaning harder into trust and surrendering into the unseen yet felt. That’s what matters to me. Getting messages of gratitude, not for what i’ve done but for who I am, for how I show up, for how I leave people— how they feel in my presence. Sharing that same love with those who impact me in a similar way. Giving and receiving love freely and without conditions. That is what it’s all about for me. And it’s something I know I can lean more into and be more intentional around, more often. I, like most of us, get caught up in the intense pace and chaos and forget to just be, but this was another one of those reminders:

this moment is all we have.

And if my life were to end tomorrow, or next week, or next year, the measure of success for me, will be how deeply I allowed myself to experience this life, on my terms, with love, compassion and an intention to see myself and others as clearly as is possible. To be love and loved. Unapologetically, unfiltered and unguarded.

We all have the right to choose what it is that is significant, what matters to us individually. This is mine, and I will invite you to reflect on what that is for you. And if there is a void, an absence of whatever it is, it may be worthwhile to set an intention to pivot, and call more of what you want in. To be open to more of what lights your heart up and fills you with love to be in more of your moments. Because as 2020 is humbly revealing to us with a sledge hammer, we don’t know what next year, let alone the next 24 hours will bring. Be here now and do what matters.

This is what is on my heart tonight that wanted to come through. Thank you for every single beautiful human in my life that receives me as I am. For those who have seen me before I was even able to see myself, and those that continue to show me through example what it means to live authentically and the power of love shared. Thank you to those that encourage and challenge me to step more into my fullness and remind me of who I am, when I conveniently forget ;). I love you more than I could ever express with words.

You make my life more full. You are what is significant to me. [side note: i’m also grateful that the little prayer that went up to my guides tonight to help make this expression flow so I could get to bed, delivered]. I will go to sleep tonight with a smile and a full heart, because I am so immensely blessed; abundance in the form of beautiful souls I have found my way back to in this crazy life.

With gratitude and always LOVE,

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

-Maya Angelou