soul reclamation {part 1} // 6

Oct 29

Calling back the pieces. Reclaiming the fragments…

In a lot of ways we come into this world perfect and then life has it’s way with us; or is it— I wonder— that we come into this life with our soul already in pieces, in fragments scattered to perfection and with purpose in unknown places.

They can be held by others, they can be in the thick of— or on the other side of—beautiful and challenging experiences. Possibly in a smile, a short moment that you lock eyes with a stranger and keep passing— but that moment, gifts you something.

And that feels like a lot of emphasis on “out there”. But what if, out there, is only a reflection of you. You are out there, and out there is within you. What if every person you encounter was merely a reflection of self, a looking in the mirror?

It’s not that we are incomplete until we find the things, or the person/people— it is a reconnection of the truth's that we are already in possession of, and the journey and the people and the things and the places and the moments, are just the reminder that brings them into consciousness, that clicks them into place like like an old dream that you suddenly remember. A faded image from another time, all coming in when it is time for you to explore that aspect of self....just another piece of you coming home, showing itself.

Is the journey of “self love” and wholeness, really the journey of reclaiming and collecting these fragments?

soul reclamation // part 1

These were a few streams of consciousness, threads of curiosity that I have followed in my own reflective madness as I spend time thinking about essentially life and humanity, who we are and why we are the way we are.

And in today's episode, these are the depths we are diving into, and I do my very best to describe that which words will always fail: Soul.

What it is, how do we go about "losing" it and what in the world does it mean to reclaim soul?

Bear with me as I am attempting to put words, binary phrases, to things that exist on a spectrum. One of the reasons talking about these concepts is so challenging, for me at least, because the way I interpret them, there is no absolute. But what has helped me as I dive into these spaces within self and go about the process of learning and reclamation, is starting with the physical, with the form, as a tangible way in, and then working back towards letting go of attachment: to a set structure or any sort of absolute…

It is one of the seeming contradictions that I find the most challenging about discussing, because I believe there is both

polarity— separation/difference— and oneness;

binary and non-binary;

duality and non-duality.

We are divinity, wrapped in physical form here having a human experience. The infinite and the mortal. There is no end and there is a very defined end of physical life. It’s both.

There is always paradox and this expression as always, is incomplete— and absolutely imperfect— which is exactly why I added an addition to the end of the episode, with a quote from David Deida around the concept of core essence I referenced [in the intro I say around 12:00, it was actually around 17:30 timestamp that it comes in].

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I invite you to put aside resistances and judgements that may come up as I describe some of these concepts. I know these words have a lot of different connotation and layers and depending on how you have witnessed them in your life, they could be limiting.

Do your best to lean past pre-conceived notions, as i'm merely attempting to provide a launching point, especially if you are struggling to bridge the gap between what may currently be a felt sense, but you have no words/language to translate it for yourself and your journey…

the invitation for today…

Take a few deep breaths and see if you can settle into heart/soul space wherever that is for you and step into curiosity, non-judgement and feel into what is being said, a layer deeper than the surface..

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on polarity // core sexual essence

"You embody both masculine and feminine qualities, although you may express them in different proportions at different times in your life. If you find it easy to navigate toward your goals but more difficult to dance in whole-body ecstasy, then your masculine qualities are probably more highly developed than your feminine. If you find it easy to flow while moving with sensual pleasure—while shopping, dancing, making love, and talking with friends—but more difficult to carry out long-term projects, then your feminine is probably more highly developed than your masculine. Each person can develop both masculine and feminine qualities within him or her. With your masculine, you can learn to direct your life with great clarity and discipline toward very specific goals as a way to offer your deepest heart’s gift to the world. With your feminine, you can learn to flow lovingly in the midst of chaos—a room full of playing children, a friend sobbing in emotional panic—offering your oceanic energy and fullness as a deep love gift from your heart. Although you have both masculine and feminine qualities and gifts, at your core you have a unique sexual essence. Your sexual essence is your sexual identity. It has nothing to do with the gender of your body. Man or woman, your sexual essence is determined by what your heart identifies with most deeply: the unfolding drama of the ever-changing flow of love and dance of life’s light or the mission toward unchanging and eternal freedom of consciousness. Do you identify more with love’s ebb and flow in your heart or the adventure toward freedom? At the movies, do you cry more at love stories or at films about justice and conquering all odds against an enemy to be free? Are you more moved by love’s drama or freedom’s mission? Which words of your lover turn you on more, sexually? Imagine that your lover says to you, “I trust you and your mission, and I will follow you anywhere.” Now imagine that he says, “I love you and cherish the beauty of light that I see in you, and I claim your deepest heart as mine, forever.” If you have a masculine sexual essence, then you are turned on by a lover who trusts your direction so much he is willing to surrender to your claim, submit ecstatically to your strength of penetrative love, and follow you anywhere. If you have a feminine sexual essence, then you are turned on by a lover who sees the beauty of your heart’s light and who feels your love’s depth, worshipping your radiant heart with his integrity, passionately claiming your life with his strong presence."
-David Deida, “Dear Lover”

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The polarities within, and that exist in relationship to the world, aren't aligned solely with gender or sexual orientation, but the way you relate to them, how you nurture them or strengthen [both, but especially honoring your core essence, which essentially is honoring that core priority that leads to deepest fulfillment] is a valuable understanding to have when you are faced with self acceptance and inner alignment, [as well as in relationship, but that's a different topic for a different day]

What does though have to do with today's topic? In how understanding these energies and their differences, or maybe how they can show up when developed or underdeveloped can lead to deeper understanding of what it is you need, and how to, really, more easily relate with self and others. Maybe, just in hearing that, you can bring to mind another person in your life and recognize that they have a different core essence than you, so what drives/motivates them is different, and in that understanding you can more easily see and accept them instead of thinking something is wrong with them or you.

I have found it valuable in learning to honor that which isn't the same as me, recognizing that both are valuable and also both are within, whether we have developed those polarities: as within, so without

It's also relevant for anytime I mention that how you identify from a gender perspective, or even your sexual orientation [and why I said earlier that it is not relevant for the purposes of the conversation today] because how we relate to the masculine and feminine energies is shaped by many factors from outside of us— often in conflict with what is the truth at our core— including how we were conditioned, what messages we received from parents, community, or peers, and who we were told we had to be and how we had to be, to be loved, accepted and safe in the world.

Many of us, even if we do identify, for example, as the gender we were assigned at birth, still struggle with what it means to "be a man" or "be a woman" on the societal level, when those messages we have picked up, are in conflict with what we feel to be true for how we really are, and this inherently sets up a dynamic of tension and rejection/repression/perversion of our individual and authentic being… whatever that is. This conversation is a means to hopefully help shine some light on what may be judgements, or perceptions of aspects of being that are not actually yours, and an invitation to get a bit closer to what is true for you vs. what can be let go of or redefined for your highest good…

All of that to say, lots of duality/binary speak, I know, but as I said in the intro, these are just doorways of understanding that if they are useful, take them and integrate for your own purposes, and if you don't resonate, then don't.

I hope you found value in this message, I hope it opened up a space within you and now you have the choice whether or not you step in. Trust your “yes” and your “no”; honor what feels true. You know the way....

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Stay tuned for part two, dropping next week and until then, as always, thank you for being here, witnessing and receiving me and I am sending so much love to you as we navigate this journey we call being human. Until next time...

In the meantime go on ahead and get on my mailing list [form at bottom of page] to receive notifications when new episodes drop and other musings and love to your inbox weekly-ish....

If you found value in this exploration, or know of someone else who needs this message— please share and follow along with me as I continue to explore @relentlesslyauthentic on instagram.

So much love, Nicolette
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Resources referenced in today’s episode:
David Deida, "Dear Lover" excerpt
David Deida, excerpt around core sexual essence
Sabrina Lynn- Re-Wilding for Women, podcast episode 76: “Why it’s Absolutely Essential to Gift Him, Yourself and the World with Your Hurt”