Allow me to reintroduce myself…

Some of you may be thinking “when did you ever introduce yourself in the first place”, to which I will respond, “Fair, you got me” ;). So what then, do I mean by this?

First, this actually is a true reintroduction, as I started this blog a little over 2 years ago. I published a total of 3 posts in the first two years (impressive right?), and a full year of that time I took my entire website offline as I was reworking it and, really, I was reworking ME. I had to come to terms with who I was— as a woman and entrepreneur— as well as really get to work discovering and uncovering how I am meant to show up in this world and serve. So the first part of this reintroduction is for those of you who may have caught a rare glimpse of my first few posts and my minimal social media engagement over the past two years. It’s a way for me to share with you a bit more about who I am today, what I have learned and continue to learn and the stories and my reflections of the experiences that have shaped, bent, bruised, burned me to the ground, yet didn’t break me. They did however show me the resilience I possess to survive and the resourcefulness I possess to thrive in this human experience.

The other meaning behind (re) introduction is a more existential, soul level introduction of Me. It’s the me that remains after the aforementioned bending, bruising and burning to the ground, which was and continues to be a peeling back process that allows me to be here, as the truest me to date. So let’s try this again…

Allow me to (re)introduce my Self…

My name is Nicolette Bernardes, and I am a lot of things. So many, that I find it overwhelming to try to summarize and frankly don’t particularly like labels and boxes, but for the sake of ease, a few things about me:

I’m an empowerment coach, writer, motivational speaker and creative. I started my coaching business, Resilient Life Coaching, three years ago with a mission to help others on their healing journey; empowering them to live the life they were meant for— a life full of the love, authentic connection and true belonging we as humans so deeply desire.

I am a woman with a big wide-open heart leading with vulnerability, messy and often inconvenient, yet inspiring truth. I love pretty notebooks, all things floral, ripped jeans, COFFEE and my free spirit is most at peace immersed in the depths of the woods (and if there is a river or any flowing water, bonus points).

I tend to see the best in people—I’m a bit of an idealist I suppose— and I believe there is magic in us all. One of my gifts is that I see that magic and empower others to step out of the boxes that keep them small and support them as they step into that unique greatness that only they possess. To witness this type of transformation is one of the greatest joys I get to experience in this life.

I believe we are all here to serve a unique purpose— there is nobody that is here on accident— and the more of us that feel safe showing up in the world dripping in our vulnerable truth, the better the world instantly becomes.

This core belief, that the world is a more beautiful place when we remember who the F we are, why we are here and start showing up every day in that power, and on purpose, it’s because of this, I have been called to co-create and lead a movement of RELENTLESS AUTHENTICITY.

Oy, that makes my stomach drop a bit making that bold statement, but this is a piece of my purpose… to catalyze the alchemical energy of authenticity to create the beautiful shift this world is aching for; moving from a state of fear to a state of love. More on that to come…

Coming Home

These past two years have been a stepping back from doing, and a diving into my being… a journey of Self exploration. One dear soul sister referred to it as my “Heart Journey” which I fucking loved…oh yea, I did forget to mention that I cuss— more than sometimes— a well placed F-bomb just feels good, #sorrynotsorry… but anyway, back to the story… I felt and continue to feel so much resonance within that description, my heart journey. What it is above all else though, is a coming home process. My coming home to Me— my truth, my love. There have been so many things I’ve discovered and learned (am learning) to embrace. And I know that I went through all of it, so I could better show up in my purpose and serve the exact way that I am meant to— to help guide and support others on their own journey home.

It’s been a hard fight stepping up and standing in all that is me.

I’ve been through a hell of a lot the past few years: beautiful, heart filling experiences, and facedown moments. From being betrayed in traumatic, heart numbing ways, left reeling and re-writing the script of my life out of necessity, to healing from physical pain and illness, all while trying to grow a new coaching business. I fell deeply, consciously and openly in love for the first time in my life and then remained fully open, feeling everything— also for the first time— in the face of heartbreak. I’ve traveled for over six months in the last year and a half, been to six new countries, a few new states, gotten REAL uncomfortable (and done some seriously strange things) in the name of self discovery and growth. And through it all I have met the most amazing humans… individuals that I’ve deeply connected with, who have supported me, challenged me and loved me without condition. And with every interaction, I’ve been left fuller and more expansive from their love, energy and presence. I’m so immensely grateful for all of it.

I am a writer

I’ve always been obsessed with words: song lyrics, poems, quotes, and for those that know me, I talk a LOT. For a long time I told myself I couldn’t express myself in a creative way, so I hid behind the words of others. I actually actively told myself for most of my younger years “I’m just not creative”. What an epic load of bullshit that was. It has taken me until this point, to be ready to open and begin to express myself in this vulnerable medium…on paper (or the electronic equivalent) without filtering or spending a ridiculous amount of time editing for perfection or approval. Seriously, in a not too distant past, I used to filter my own journal entries because I couldn’t even be real with ME…so the idea of sharing vulnerable truth’s with others and it being imperfect…no wayyyy [insert minor anxiety attack here].

It has taken me until now to declare that I am a writer. I write poetry, prose, essays, and unstructured rants, and am working on my first book (more stomach somersaulting). This scares me to declare, for many reasons, but mostly because it makes it real and it makes me feel a special kind of vulnerable (like, naked level vulnerable— actually come to think of it, I would prefer to be naked). But it is real. It’s a deeply personal, instinctual urge to express myself, to allow myself to be heard in MY voice. It’s a pull I feel to lay it all out, as a personal liberation— from shame, the not enough’s and too much’s; it’s the way I untangle the knots in my mind. This is why I write.

I also know so much of my healing and self-recognition has come from reading and hearing the vulnerable stories and journey of those before me— their triumphs and facedown moments, wisdom from a place of hindsight, and the practical research and knowledge they were willing to expose themselves for— that mirror they held up to me has been more transformative than I can describe. This is the power of words, the power of personal story. This is the power of TRUTH: it heals and saves lives.

To get here, I had to step out of my need to be approved of, my desire to “be good”.

I was afraid to be judged for what I share (and still am at times); afraid to be condemned for what I’ve done in my past, and/or be told I’m not a good enough writer or that what I have to say is wrong, or yet worse, that nobody cares about what I have to say. Welllllll, that was then, and this is now. I still get a pull of what I will label as anxiety when I post something really vulnerable, but now I just do it. If it’s calling to me, if it is healing or empowering for me, it could be healing and empowering for someone who reads it. If I can help just one person know that they aren’t alone in their experiences of this life and that they aren’t the only ones who are messy, fuck up and get hurt; let them know that they aren’t the only ones who are afraid of showing the world who it is they truly are; it’s worth any discomfort I feel or judgment I receive. All that matters is, it’s my truth— no striving or expectation of how it will be received— just me.

If you choose to continue on this journey with me, you will see a lot of writing that I am currently creating, but also that I have written over the past 2 years; stories, poems, reflections from experiences I have had. These are pieces of me that I sat on, held back, because I wasn’t ready yet to step into and truly embrace my creative expression; to truly embrace all of Me. How beautifully symbolic as a representation of Self exploration and growth. So, while I gave myself a really hard time for not sharing this work at the time that it was created, I’m grateful that I didn’t, because I wasn’t ready, and now I am.

Relentlessly Authentic

This blog is a space for me and for you, much like the spaces I intentionally create for others to explore and heal in my coaching and facilitating—but with a nuanced difference. It’s an opportunity for me to share a deeper, more vulnerable, raw— AUTHENTIC— piece of my Self with you. I do this because I truly believe that sharing our truth, speaking our shame, and owning every part of our beautifully messy, imperfect yet perfectly ordinary selves is the path to freedom; it is the path to wholehearted living. So I share to heal and to inspire you to take action in your own life as it serves your own unique journey. I share for us to learn and grow together. Welcome and thank you for choosing to be here with me. I’m excited to continue to lean into the discomfort of vulnerable expression and practicing the act of standing in my humanity. I invite you to do the same.

This is a space where judgment has no place, where all are welcome, and where vulnerability and authenticity are applauded. A place where we can put down the weapons and take of the masks and armor.

It’s a place where we get to explore and challenge that which has been learned through cultural conditioning and life experience, and how that shapes who we are and the ways that we show up in the world.

I’m going to talk about the things that are hard for me (and I imagine others); topics that often bring up divisiveness and where our defensiveness instinctually kicks in. My commitment is to do my very best to create a container where we can lean into the discomfort of these polarizing topics, LISTEN to one another and have honest and respectful conversations about hard things. A place where we can be imperfect, admit where we have been wrong, AND still feel safe and held all while encouraging each other to critically think and grow. A place where love comes first.

This is a step toward creating the community my soul is calling to be a part of.

One where we ALL are embraced for exactly who it is we are and where being vulnerable and leading with love are empowered and revered as one of the greatest acts of courage.

This is what a movement of relentless authenticity represents to me.

I can’t promise a perfectly curated progression of expressions, that’s not really how I roll… I am going to post what is resonant to my experience in the present, that which feels right and true to me now. Sometimes it may look chaotic, other times feel dark, definitely sometimes idealistic; sometimes it will be silly, sensual and/or indulgent. This is all me, committed to being all the human things, learning and sharing that which is significant as I attempt to make sense of this crazy world…

I would love to hear from those of you spending your valuable time reading my work; I want to hear your stories, your practice and struggles as you move towards being your most authentic self… your coming home. I would love to see your creative expression and hear your truth, and I would be honored to hold that space for you, as you come along with me on this beautiful journey. If this resonates with you, join the movement! Sign up for my newsletter below, email me, comment, and/or connect with me on social media, I can’t wait to meet you!

There is so much more to come and I can’t wait to share it with you!!

With gratitude and ALWAYS love,