𝑎 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑜𝑠

𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈?

These deep and decadent scorpionic waters- a curious resting place, a kind of home- no longer running still; current{ly} overflowing with karmic memory {its all coming to the surface now}

Rosalie: a metaphor for; Taking matters into ones own hands, left hanging by a thread; the only path to freedom in a time long past. Spite, fear. Resolve. A morbid choice. {But I doubt they included that in the eulogy};

Memory housed in sympathetic spaces; a mercurial reminder of pain unprocessed; Violence. Violated. Power and Control at the expense of Sovereignty. Nowhere to go. Screaming at the top of lungs and nobody hears. All that lingers is the nothingness; the void of death;

When did this fragment of self Lose all sensation? Which lifetime, which experience was the one that finally sent that shred of humanity into oblivion?

The path to rebirth paved with questions unanswered— ghosts of times past...

Kali: on a rampage, ripping me to shreds, my insides, out; blood and guts and glitter. stopping at nothing to give me my everything. 𝑨 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆.

Learning to trust what I feel and know to be true.

Leaning into the uncomfortable edges; all ways, all places.

Asking for help; Speaking up; Saying no.

Survival: an unconscious motivating force;

Living: a conscious choice

Disassociation: my go to coping.

Every moment longer I stay with the feeling: a victory.

Clearing out old fear, calling back the pieces; it’s time to come home.

-an abstract perspective + full moon musings // [me and my 8th house South Node + 7th house Mercury in Scorpio taking a little ride to the depths on this familiar lunation]